And so.....When the Extrempularian witherboat driver, Solly Pluccioccamenza recommended without warning to Monsignor Jimmy that they cancel their plans for the upcoming "Festival della Pesce Umbriago" the old buzzard went ballistic...

"Fa tutti senza grobia ti cose bene gisonda!!!! Ma perche tu non guarda la porcaluna? Perche? Perche? E vini qua, stugazza!!! Io fatta una ribistonzala!! Capo di strunza boboloza! Io non sono uno
saltimacocco!!!!

"Geez Rev, take a chill. I tol' ya dis was a bad idea from da get-go.
An' lay off the Stromboli lingo! Ya know damned well I can't understand a friggin word yer sayin so how the Hell am I sposeta answer ya? Besides, it was YOUR idea to let Louisabenny in on this thing in the first place; ya knew goddam well if anybody could make a molehill outta a mountain it would be her! Remember when we had her try to get the Toadranch project off the ground? Ya remember whatta mess she made outta that? Huh? Do ya?"

"Ma si, but iffa we no'a give'a da girl a chance'a, she's a gonna just'a
keep'a make'a everybody's wheel's a go back-a-wards, y'know. b'sides'a, by now I'ma hope'a she's get una poca less'a stupida, no?"

"Yeah, right! And what on Earth would give ya any freakin' indication of dat? Didn't ya hear about that fiasco down at Muddy Larry's Mouse-House last month when ol' Lar' let her put on that Wheel-O-Fortune talent show? I tell ya man, where that woman's concerned, disaster will follow, you betcha you bet! An' anyway, the Festival wasn't such a hot idea t'begin wit', ya gotta admit..."

Wearily, the old Monsignor nodded in resigned agreement then, suddenly, while stroking his chin with his official plastic "Our Lady of
Testagrobbia" letter-opener the old man brightened; "Hey! You's a gotta 'member one thing, Solly. We still gotta 'nother chance'a to make'a dis work! Howzaboutta we call'a Sanduccia? He's a gotta lotta money an' I tella you for sure, he's a gonna jumpa right outta his'a shorts when he hears 'bout the new 'lectrolysis Bingo macchina we's a gonna get for da orphanage! Ma, he's be hopin'a for dat since'a you was a strunzita! Now, iffa we finally give'a him a chance t'make it up to you, I'ma think he's a gonna do the right thing, nonchu think'a? 'Sides, whatta we gotta lose'a anyway? Che? whatta you t'ink? Non ti piace? Come onna, Solly, you know justa good as'a me dat'a it's'a time'a t'make amends, eh?"

"Jeezis, lissen t'yourself! Ya'd think by now we wouldn't still haveta
talk about bringin' HIM inta dis! Man, if I thought for one minute dat
he'd ever play ball widout screwin me over again I might be in'rested
but after the last time...."

"Basta! You justa leave'a everything uppa t'me dis time an' you's a
gonna see! Til then, I think'a you better getta the Hell outta here before'a Rosa get's a back'a anna finda you here 'gain! I'm sure'a don' need that again... Anyway, getta goin' now 'fore she catch'a you! I talka you nex'a week. An' inda meantime, you keepa you mouth shut, okay?"

"Ahh, ya old fool; awright, but yer gonna find out fer yerself an' don't
come squawkin' t'me whenya do. An' don't let Krelba hear a word 'bout dis, 'cause if he gets wind of it I'll be in deep shit again! An don't call me; I'll be in touch when da time is right. I'm outta here!"

And with that Sol turned and left, slamming the creaky rectory door
behind him. If that old goat wanted to bring Sanduccia back, well, let
him, he thought. Everything was going (almost) the way he had hoped. And in the meantime, he had more than a few plans of his own, didn't he? As he trotted out to his trusty-rusty old Volvo, he almost skipped with anticipation of the debacle that was sure to ensue. That is, if his timing was absolutely perfect (and if he could keep Krelba from finding out what was up for just a little bit longer...) "It's gonna be a in'resting week...I better get to Sanduccia before the ol' Monsignor does," he thought as he pulled out into the midday traffic-holocaust surrounding the old church that used to be the south side's oldest (and most ill-reputed) jukebox distributor. "Yep, I'm pretty sure I'm REALLY gonna enjoy this!"